In ye olden days, where dragons and bitter in-laws roamed the Earth, there existed the mystical land of Greece (which may or may not have been totally made up). Life was better then: people lived out their simple lives in something approximating peace, sacrificed their children in hordes to angry all-powerful gods, and went out to ye olde bar-clubs to fuck their brains out and drink down unreal quantities of mind-bending stuffs. All was well, if boring.
And then Amazingly Kickass Adventures started. Life instantly became cooler (and much more dangerous) wherever the party deemed fit to travel. But mostly life got cooler.
Especially for those reading.
At any rate, ye olde party is chock full of brave adventurers with which to have kickass adventures. These brave and noble adventures are as follows:
-Wallacles (or Wallace, I guess), the simple farmer. He hath not good educations, but that is more than made up for by the brawn provided by his hefty ass. Should the party ever require the brute force or paperweight-potential provided by Wallace's enormous folds of flab, they shall be well-provisioned.
-Joeaclesius (who also goes by Joe), the white-collar fisherman. A soulless drone who spends day and night drawing in cold harvests of *Greekfish* for his cruel overlords. Joe has been left bitter by years of torture and humiliation -- going to bed at night drowning in sorrow. But enough about the size of his *Dick*. Joe is, on the whole, the only person the party can count on to do the jobs everybody else would go to Superhell for. Since he's already got a spot reserved down there anyways, the most might as well be made of him.
-Bitchasspunkemnon (also known as "Steve" on the streets), the weed merchant. Steve has a gift. It was from a friend years ago. Just thought it would be cool to mention that. Anyhow, Steve is really really really good at selling shit. Most of it's Steve-brand merchandise and *Weed* (advertised to give anything from +5 Menchanting to +7 Sexromancy), but some of it's vaguely useful from time to time. Steve is chill, dude, and whenever the party needs a plan to get out of various problems, he'll probably have a solution he'd be ready to sell.
And that's about it. Why in the blue fuck are you reading this anyways? You should be experiencing some Adventures of the Amazingly Kickass variety. Go now!
And don't break too much shit along the way.